Oct. 1, 2025

Why Community Beats Isolation During Hard Seasons

Why Community Beats Isolation During Hard Seasons

Send us a text Starting over sounds bold until the storm hits at night and the room feels too quiet. We dig into a simple truth that keeps showing up in real life: resilience grows in community. From the physical toll of loneliness to the emotional relief of being fully seen, we map the concrete ways connection protects your health, clarifies your thinking, and keeps your heart steady when circumstances don’t. We also name the moments when solitude is not only okay but wise—time set apart to ...

Send us a text

Starting over sounds bold until the storm hits at night and the room feels too quiet. We dig into a simple truth that keeps showing up in real life: resilience grows in community. From the physical toll of loneliness to the emotional relief of being fully seen, we map the concrete ways connection protects your health, clarifies your thinking, and keeps your heart steady when circumstances don’t. We also name the moments when solitude is not only okay but wise—time set apart to reflect, to pray, and to focus without the noise.

Across the conversation, we trace a pattern we’ve watched in our own lives and in people we admire: strong relationships become a safety net and a launchpad. You’ll hear how empathy calms shame, how accountability gently nudges you back toward your values, and how borrowing someone else’s perspective can open a path you couldn’t see alone. We talk about rebuilding the kind of church-centered community that lingers after the benediction, that checks in midweek, and that shows up with both prayer and practical help. And yes, we get specific: how to take inventory of your needs, how to deepen bonds you already have, and what to do if the circle you need doesn’t exist yet.

If isolation has been whispering that you’re the only one, let this be a counter-story. There’s a way to balance purposeful solitude with faithful connection so you can heal, decide wisely, and keep moving. Press play, take one step toward someone you trust, and if this helped, share it with a friend who needs a handhold today. Subscribe for new episodes every other Thursday, and leave a review to help more people find a community that holds.

Support the show

Connect with Mo

Become a Subscriber for subscriber only content: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1834533/subscribe

Merchandise: https://demo-with-mo.myspreadshop.com/

Website: https://www.demowithmo.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/demowithmopodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/demowithmo/

Facebook Relationship Community:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/548524369897098/?ref=share

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@demowithmo/

00:00 - New Schedule & Set Up

01:22 - From Starting Over To Support

03:38 - Community As A God-Given Gift

05:20 - What We’ve Lost In Modern Life

06:27 - Why Community During Hard Times

07:38 - Mental And Physical Health

08:50 - Emotional Support That Holds You

10:26 - Better Choices With Wise Counsel

11:40 - Gaining Broader Perspective

13:28 - Accountability That Nudges You Forward

14:24 - Risks Of Going It Alone

16:17 - Isolation, Shame, And The Church

18:16 - Seeing Beyond Your Struggle

18:58 - When Solitude Helps

21:01 - Be Productive In The Storm

22:27 - Deliberate Alone Time Like Jesus

24:05 - Finding Your Balance

26:03 - Deepen Bonds In Your Church

28:02 - Join Or Build A Community

30:01 - Therapy And Reaching Out

31:35 - A Prayer Answered By Community

32:50 - Closing & Two-Week Checkback

WEBVTT

00:00:24.800 --> 00:00:26.160
Hey, what's up, guys?

00:00:26.239 --> 00:00:28.879
Welcome to a new episode of Demo with Mo.

00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:31.839
I am your host, Monique Simmons.

00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:41.119
And today we are going to be discussing going through hard times alone versus with community.

00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:46.159
So there are a few things I wanted to share before jumping in today's episode.

00:00:46.880 --> 00:00:54.399
Going forward, we are going to be releasing new episodes twice a month.

00:00:54.640 --> 00:01:01.840
So instead of every Thursday weekly, it will be every other Thursday.

00:01:02.399 --> 00:01:05.760
So you'll get two new episodes twice a month.

00:01:05.920 --> 00:01:11.040
I want to keep you guys up to date and aware of everything that's going on with the podcast.

00:01:11.200 --> 00:01:14.799
And that's just something that we will be doing going forward.

00:01:14.959 --> 00:01:22.000
If we ever go back to once a week, every Thursday, I will update you guys with that information.

00:01:22.319 --> 00:01:29.280
So last week we discussed tearing everything down and starting over from scratch.

00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:37.840
And this kind of pivoted me into today's episode, going through hard times alone versus weak community.

00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:47.280
Because in last week's episode, we talked about how sometimes we're going through things and we need to tear down.

00:01:47.519 --> 00:02:01.040
We literally need to start over from scratch and stop doing the same thing, repeating the same cycles, replaying the same pattern over and over and over again.

00:02:01.200 --> 00:02:04.159
And depending on what it is, we have no choice.

00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:14.639
Sometimes it's illness, sometimes it's a divorce, sometimes you have traumatic things happening in your life where you have no choice but to start over.

00:02:14.800 --> 00:02:19.039
But sometimes there are things in your life where you want to start over.

00:02:19.199 --> 00:02:26.800
It's going to be the best decision for you or you and your family that you need to start over.

00:02:27.280 --> 00:02:36.080
In that case, it could be easier said than done for me to just say, tear everything down and start over.

00:02:37.439 --> 00:02:42.639
And I thought about that as I was preparing for today's episode.

00:02:43.199 --> 00:02:46.639
What has been beneficial for me in my life?

00:02:46.960 --> 00:02:59.360
What have I noticed about the people that I do life with, the people that are connected to me, the people who I listen to, the people whom I follow, the people that I look up to in my life?

00:02:59.680 --> 00:03:04.960
What has been that common thread where I see them be able to persevere?

00:03:05.199 --> 00:03:26.879
Persevere through the hard things in their life, persevere through suffering, for them to be able to keep going, for them to be able to start over when they had to, when they have had to tear everything down, for them not to give up when hard times come up in their life.

00:03:27.039 --> 00:03:31.360
What has been that common theme for all of those people?

00:03:31.599 --> 00:03:34.800
For even me myself, what has been that common thing?

00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:36.639
And I got to thinking about it.

00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:38.319
It has been community.

00:03:38.560 --> 00:03:48.960
And I know some of you may have, as I've even asked those questions even now, some of you who are listening to this may have may be saying, Mo does is God.

00:03:49.120 --> 00:03:51.039
God has been that common thing.

00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:55.759
Yes, God, but God is not here in the flesh.

00:03:56.080 --> 00:04:03.520
God, in his word, has given us this beautiful thing called community.

00:04:03.919 --> 00:04:12.879
He has given us this beautiful thing called the local body, a community of believers.

00:04:13.280 --> 00:04:35.279
We have a village, we have people here in the flesh, other Christian believers who are supposed to be his hands and feet here on earth, who are supposed to live out those things that he has said in his word, because he is not physically here with us anymore.

00:04:35.519 --> 00:04:40.800
People who are supposed to be doing the things that he said in his word.

00:04:41.360 --> 00:04:50.079
So that as I was thinking about this, that has been that common thing, community.

00:04:51.360 --> 00:05:29.279
Community is supposed to be able to uphold us where one doesn't fall for the other, or one rejoices with the other, where iron sharpens, iron community, and I think where we are in society, if you look around, if you take a moment to take inventory as a whole, and I'm not talking about just you personally, and I'm not talking about just the people you necessarily do life with, but I'm talking about us as a whole in society.

00:05:29.519 --> 00:05:33.040
We have really gotten away from community.

00:05:33.279 --> 00:05:37.199
We have really gotten away from doing life together.

00:05:37.439 --> 00:06:02.160
We have really gotten away from sitting at the table together and really knowing one another and doing life with one another and really seeing one another, like seeing each other for real, not just one of those comments, how you doing, throwing out that and really not really caring to know how we are really doing.

00:06:02.319 --> 00:06:05.120
But we've really gotten away from that.

00:06:05.680 --> 00:06:26.560
You know, we may keep up with each other on social media, we may throw a like here and there and or a comment on a post, but to really do life with one another and be in community, the way the Bible talks about being in community with one another, we've gotten away from that.

00:06:27.360 --> 00:06:36.399
So today we're gonna talk about that the benefits of being in community when we're facing hard times.

00:06:36.639 --> 00:06:41.600
And if you look around, we're facing a lot of hard times.

00:06:41.759 --> 00:06:49.040
And I know if you look at your life personally, you too may be even facing hard times.

00:06:49.600 --> 00:07:02.720
We're gonna talk about today the benefits of facing hard times in community versus when you try to face hard times alone by yourself.

00:07:03.759 --> 00:07:10.480
Going through hard times with community is generally more beneficial than facing them alone.

00:07:10.800 --> 00:07:18.240
If social support provides emotional relief, encouragement, and a safety net against loneliness.

00:07:18.480 --> 00:07:29.040
While some solitude can offer stress reduction, self-awareness, and focus, prolonged social isolation is harmful.

00:07:29.279 --> 00:07:37.439
Whereas a strong community fosters resilience, empathy, and better decision making.

00:07:38.399 --> 00:07:42.000
So now we're going to discuss the benefits of community.

00:07:44.079 --> 00:07:46.639
Mental and physical health.

00:07:46.800 --> 00:07:50.079
That's one of the benefits of community.

00:07:50.720 --> 00:08:01.680
Connection combats the loneliness that increases stress hormones, blood pressure, and susceptibility to illness.

00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:08.000
Another benefit of community: emotional support.

00:08:08.240 --> 00:08:18.480
Community offers empathy and a space for emotional relief that can be vital during hardship.

00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:21.519
I think this is a really great one.

00:08:21.680 --> 00:08:31.120
When you're able to get that emotional support that you really need during hard times, you're able to find that when you're in community.

00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:34.320
You can't get that emotional support by yourself.

00:08:34.639 --> 00:08:39.600
You won't find that when you're facing hard times alone.

00:08:39.840 --> 00:08:41.440
You can receive empathy.

00:08:41.679 --> 00:08:46.159
Someone who has experienced what you've experienced.

00:08:46.320 --> 00:08:49.120
They have walked through what you're currently walking through.

00:08:49.200 --> 00:08:50.960
So they can empathize with you.

00:08:51.120 --> 00:08:53.200
They can say, I understand.

00:08:54.240 --> 00:08:56.000
I've experienced this.

00:08:56.320 --> 00:08:58.799
I understand how you feel.

00:08:59.519 --> 00:09:03.440
And you have this space to release emotionally.

00:09:03.679 --> 00:09:06.000
You can cry if you need to cry.

00:09:06.320 --> 00:09:09.440
You can get that support that you need.

00:09:09.600 --> 00:09:16.480
Even if you just need to vent and share how you feel, you're able to find that in community.

00:09:16.720 --> 00:09:19.919
And this is vital when you're going through hard times.

00:09:20.159 --> 00:09:25.679
Because what can happen when you're doing this alone, you can feel like you're the only one.

00:09:25.919 --> 00:09:27.519
No one understands.

00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:28.960
Woe is me.

00:09:29.200 --> 00:09:31.679
I'm the only one that's experiencing this.

00:09:31.919 --> 00:09:32.799
Nobody else.

00:09:32.960 --> 00:09:34.320
Everybody else is good.

00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:35.919
I'm the only one.

00:09:37.679 --> 00:09:41.200
Next, improved decision making.

00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:43.279
I thought this was a really good one.

00:09:43.519 --> 00:09:50.960
Support from a community can help individuals avoid harmful coping mechanisms.

00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:56.480
Coping mechanisms and make better choices.

00:09:56.799 --> 00:10:02.960
When you are part of a community, you're able to work out your thoughts and make better decisions.

00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:07.440
When you're alone, you have nobody else to work out those thoughts with.

00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:18.399
So you're more apt to make unwise decisions and go back to those coping mechanisms that are not beneficial, that are not healthy.

00:10:18.480 --> 00:10:21.519
You're more apt to fall back into stuff that's not good for you.

00:10:21.679 --> 00:10:28.159
But when you're part of a community, they're able to say, nah, that probably won't be beneficial to you.

00:10:28.480 --> 00:10:30.879
No, you probably shouldn't do that.

00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:32.879
Man, I know exactly how you feel.

00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:37.039
I used to do that same thing, but it's gonna lead you down the wrong road.

00:10:37.279 --> 00:10:39.919
That's what you're able to find in community.

00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:43.440
Next, broader perspective.

00:10:43.759 --> 00:10:54.480
Community can provide encouragement and new ways of thinking, broadening ones horizons, and fostering a sense of belonging.

00:10:54.879 --> 00:10:55.519
Oh man.

00:10:55.759 --> 00:10:57.919
Oh man, this one is so beautiful.

00:10:58.159 --> 00:11:02.000
A broader perspective is such a great thing to have.

00:11:02.320 --> 00:11:10.159
Because sometimes all you know is all you know, and all you see is all you see.

00:11:10.480 --> 00:11:19.759
But when you're a part of a community, it's so many other perspectives, and it's it's so much broader because think about it.

00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:25.120
If you only know the background that you came from, that's all you know.

00:11:25.840 --> 00:11:47.039
But when you're a part of communities, there's so many other ways of thinking, there's so many different backgrounds, there's so many other perspectives, ways of thinking that you hadn't even thought of, that you haven't even considered, that you didn't even realize that's in a community.

00:11:47.360 --> 00:11:50.559
And you're like, oh man, I didn't even think of it that way.

00:11:50.799 --> 00:11:52.559
I didn't even consider that.

00:11:52.799 --> 00:11:54.799
I couldn't even imagine that.

00:11:54.960 --> 00:11:57.759
And you're able to work that thing out together.

00:11:57.919 --> 00:12:07.519
And especially be, and when I'm and I'm talking about community, I'm talking about a body of believers, and we're supposed to operate from the word of God.

00:12:07.840 --> 00:12:18.639
And sometimes, especially when we're going through hard times, we often will think of it and lean to our own understanding.

00:12:18.799 --> 00:12:28.799
So sometimes we won't even get in the word of God, or we won't even consider the word of God because we're so stuck in what we're going through and our suffering and our hardship.

00:12:28.960 --> 00:12:39.840
But when you're in a part of a community, people will bring out stuff that you can't see because you're going through such hard times that you can't even stand them.

00:12:40.240 --> 00:12:42.639
You can't even pull yourself out of that.

00:12:42.960 --> 00:12:48.080
So people are able to help you with perspectives that you can't even imagine.

00:12:48.159 --> 00:12:53.279
They can remind you, they can bring back to you what you can't think of.

00:12:53.519 --> 00:12:55.519
Well, God's word says this.

00:12:55.759 --> 00:13:02.159
Remember, God says this, remember, God did this, and you like, man, I didn't even think of that.

00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:03.840
I forgot that.

00:13:04.639 --> 00:13:10.240
I needed that perspective, I needed that reminder, and that's what community does.

00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:18.799
But when you're trying to do it alone, when you're trying to figure this thing out by yourself, all you have is yourself.

00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:22.559
Next, accountability.

00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:33.519
A supportive group can provide a structure for accountability, helping individuals stay on track with their goals.

00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:44.639
All men, when you're a part of community and you you verbally said, This is what I want to do, this is what I'm aiming for, this is what I'm striving for.

00:13:44.879 --> 00:13:50.480
Whatever that thing is, community, a supportive group.

00:13:50.720 --> 00:13:52.879
They're gonna help you stay on track with that.

00:13:53.039 --> 00:13:54.480
They're gonna check in with you.

00:13:54.559 --> 00:13:56.320
Well, this is what you said you want to do.

00:13:56.799 --> 00:13:57.759
How are you doing?

00:13:57.919 --> 00:13:59.039
How's it going?

00:13:59.200 --> 00:14:00.799
Well, you said you want to do this.

00:14:00.879 --> 00:14:02.240
How can I support you?

00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:04.240
How can I show up for you?

00:14:04.480 --> 00:14:05.840
How can I help you?

00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:07.440
How can I assist you?

00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:09.919
That's what community does for you.

00:14:10.159 --> 00:14:22.240
It's not to shame you, it's not to call you out, but it's to encourage you, it's to help you, it's to push you towards that goal, it's to push you towards what you were aiming for.

00:14:24.960 --> 00:14:29.039
Now we're going to talk about the risk of going at it alone.

00:14:29.519 --> 00:14:34.320
To the risk of facing hardships alone by yourself.

00:14:35.759 --> 00:14:38.639
Increased stress and poor health.

00:14:38.879 --> 00:14:50.480
Without community, individuals are more prone to higher stress levels, heart disease, and other health problems associated with loneliness.

00:14:52.080 --> 00:15:05.679
So it's not just bad for as you're just going to be suffering and going through by yourself, and you don't have people to support you and encourage you and hold you accountable, but it also affects your health, your well-being.

00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:12.399
Next, negative thought cycles.

00:15:12.960 --> 00:15:25.279
Isolation can lead to discontent, shame, and a perpetuation of negative thoughts, which can spiral into depression.

00:15:26.159 --> 00:15:40.799
And the enemy will love nothing more than to keep you here, to get you by yourself and to shame you and get those negative thoughts to keep playing in your head over and over and over again.

00:15:41.039 --> 00:15:42.879
To keep you by yourself.

00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:47.360
He will love nothing more because he wants to keep you separated from community.

00:15:47.519 --> 00:15:50.240
He wants to keep you separated from the local body.

00:15:50.480 --> 00:16:05.039
That's why we are in a society now where this running theme has become, and I don't know if you notice it, this running theme has become church is important isn't important.

00:16:05.440 --> 00:16:08.080
You don't need to be in church every Sunday.

00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:10.799
And everybody has their various reasons.

00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:35.840
And don't let me, I don't want to dismiss or invalidate anyone's feelings by some of the reasons that I've heard by saying that people have not been hurt by some of the things that have happened in church, because I know that some of these things are true and people have been hurt.

00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:44.399
But I also know the word of God says forsake not the fellowship, forsake not the assembling of yourself together.

00:16:44.799 --> 00:16:48.799
And I know God says this because it's for the benefit of us.

00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:53.360
He wants us there because we need community.

00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:56.960
The enemy wants to keep us separated from one another.

00:16:57.279 --> 00:16:59.519
He wants to keep us from the body.

00:16:59.840 --> 00:17:18.240
He wants to keep us apart from one another because he knows the benefit of what community does for us as believers when we come together, when we worship together, when we do this thing that God has called us to do.

00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:24.480
Next, lack of perspective.

00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:37.200
Being alone can make it harder to see beyond your own immediate struggles, hindering problem solving and personal growth.

00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:45.599
And this is what I was telling you guys about when we talked about the benefits of community when we discussed the broader perspective.

00:17:45.920 --> 00:17:48.720
This is it, the lack of perspective.

00:17:48.960 --> 00:18:06.559
Because if I get you out of community and you are facing hardships alone by yourself, you most times, nine times out of ten, you can't see past your hardships.

00:18:06.799 --> 00:18:08.880
You can't see past your struggles.

00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:11.759
All you will see is what you see.

00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:13.839
All you will see is what you're going through.

00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:16.079
All you will see is your suffering.

00:18:16.319 --> 00:18:18.799
All you will see is your hardships.

00:18:19.039 --> 00:18:31.920
But when you are able to lock into your community, when you're able to connect with the body, they are able to help you see what you can't see right now.

00:18:38.400 --> 00:18:45.039
Next, we're going to discuss when alone time is beneficial.

00:18:45.359 --> 00:18:47.839
Because sometimes you do need to be alone.

00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:54.319
Don't hear me say there is never a time when we shouldn't be alone.

00:18:54.559 --> 00:19:00.079
Because there is a time when alone time is beneficial.

00:19:01.440 --> 00:19:02.960
Self-awareness.

00:19:03.920 --> 00:19:15.599
Spending time alone can provide opportunities for self-reflection, helping you understand your own needs, values, and emotions better.

00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:19.359
Next, creativity and focus.

00:19:20.400 --> 00:19:33.279
Solitude can enhance focus, productivity, and creativity, allowing you to engage with challenging for new pursuits.

00:19:33.680 --> 00:19:49.279
I thought this one was a really good one because sometimes if God is telling you you need a break, you need to pull away, you need to take some time off to take some things off your plate, and you just need to pull away and take a break.

00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:52.880
Like this is a really good one if you just need to focus.

00:19:53.039 --> 00:20:03.599
Like you just need to take some time to like getting your creative bag, you need to focus, you need to find like a hobby or whatever that thing looks like for you.

00:20:03.759 --> 00:20:27.920
Like, you know, I I talk about self-care a lot, but this could be more like your self-care, like whatever that is for you, but like this is your time to like kind of focus and find like that thing that is good for you to take some time away from the things of life that is you're not focusing so much on the hardship, on the suffering.

00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:33.440
Because again, sometimes when we're going through hard times, that's all we're focusing on.

00:20:33.599 --> 00:20:36.400
We're so caught up in that thing.

00:20:36.640 --> 00:20:42.799
But if you pull away from that and just take some time away, what is it that I could be doing with this time?

00:20:43.039 --> 00:20:48.240
What is it that I could really be focusing on and being creative with that time?

00:20:48.319 --> 00:20:50.079
And that's something I could do by myself.

00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:53.200
I don't have to get in community to do that.

00:20:53.359 --> 00:20:57.839
But what is it that I can be doing to spend some alone time with myself?

00:20:58.880 --> 00:21:04.240
And in that time, I could really be talking about talking to God about what's going on in my life right now.

00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:09.359
These things that I'm walking through right now, God, you know these things going on in my life.

00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:12.000
I'm having a really difficult time right now.

00:21:12.160 --> 00:21:16.079
I'm really struggling in this, but Lord, I don't want to focus on this.

00:21:16.160 --> 00:21:21.200
I want to focus on my relationship with you, getting to know you better.

00:21:21.839 --> 00:21:24.559
And I know I'm not going to be in this forever.

00:21:24.880 --> 00:21:29.759
I know this won't last always, but help me not to stay focused on this.

00:21:30.160 --> 00:21:53.119
Help me to keep my eyes on you and help me to continue to do those things you have called me to, help me to walk in obedience in the midst of these hard times right now, even though it's hard, even though I'm struggling in this, like in the midst of whatever it is that you're focusing on and being creative and being productive.

00:21:53.359 --> 00:22:02.720
Because sometimes I know you want to just get in your bed and pull the covers over your head and wait for it to pass, wait for the storm to pass, but don't do that.

00:22:03.119 --> 00:22:06.000
Be productive in the midst of the storm.

00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:08.640
What is it that you could be working on?

00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:10.880
Who could you be helping?

00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:17.519
What could you be doing that's productive, that's beneficial to you, other than focusing on the storm?

00:22:19.200 --> 00:22:20.160
Do that.

00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:25.039
Next, stress reduction.

00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:36.720
Deliberate alone time can help reduce stress, especially from navigating complex social interactions.

00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:39.119
I get this one.

00:22:39.279 --> 00:22:40.480
I really get this one.

00:22:40.640 --> 00:22:44.720
And I I love the word where it says deliberate alone time.

00:22:44.799 --> 00:22:47.119
That means you're being intentional about this.

00:22:47.279 --> 00:23:02.880
So if you're one of those people who you may be people pleasing, where you're going out because other people have invited you out, even though you don't want to, or you know you don't need to, you're really in a season where you need to pull away.

00:23:03.119 --> 00:23:07.680
Because that's one of the beautiful things about Jesus.

00:23:07.839 --> 00:23:22.079
If you're reading your Bible, and when Jesus was in ministry and he started his ministry, he would uh when the crowds got big, when all of the people would start surrounding him, none of that mattered.

00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:26.880
If he needed to pull away, Jesus would pull away in a minute.

00:23:27.279 --> 00:23:31.759
He would go off and he would pray.

00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:34.480
He would talk to the father whenever he needed to.

00:23:34.559 --> 00:23:35.680
He would pull away.

00:23:35.839 --> 00:23:45.839
It didn't matter about what was going on, it didn't matter about all the people wanting to be around him, needing something from him.

00:23:46.400 --> 00:23:49.279
He was always about his father's business.

00:23:49.440 --> 00:23:53.759
He always about, he was always about staying connected to the source.

00:23:54.000 --> 00:23:59.440
He was always about staying in right relationship with his father.

00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:01.599
He would always pull away.

00:24:01.680 --> 00:24:05.920
When he was with the disciples, if he needed to, he would pull away.

00:24:06.240 --> 00:24:17.039
He always pulled away in solitude to talk to God, to be in commune with God, to pray to God.

00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:25.359
Even so much so the disciples would say, his disciples said, teach us how to pray.

00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:35.920
And it wasn't like they didn't necessarily know how to pray, you know, just a prayer, but they wanted the type of prayer that Jesus was praying.

00:24:36.240 --> 00:24:36.880
You know?

00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:46.400
So sometimes we need to be deliberate, we need to be intentional about our alone time to reduce that stress.

00:24:46.559 --> 00:24:52.559
If we have a lot going on, we have so much on our plate, we're always doing other things.

00:24:52.720 --> 00:24:54.640
We're so busy, we're busybody.

00:24:55.119 --> 00:24:59.279
We have so much going on, but maybe not the right things going on.

00:24:59.440 --> 00:25:03.440
Sometimes we need to be deliberate and intentional about our alone time.

00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:09.440
So again, this is when alone time is beneficial.

00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:15.920
Okay, next, this is lastly, finding a balance.

00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:30.079
So again, we talked about we talked about the benefits of being in a community during hardship, and we've talked about the times that is beneficial for a long time.

00:25:30.319 --> 00:25:35.920
Now we're gonna talk about finding a balance, a healthy balance.

00:25:36.640 --> 00:25:50.799
One, identify your need, reflect on what you feel is missing in your current connections to better understand your need for connection or solitude.

00:25:51.359 --> 00:25:53.920
So look at your circumstances.

00:25:54.160 --> 00:26:01.359
Take inventory because my life and my circumstances currently may not look like your life and your circumstances.

00:26:01.519 --> 00:26:13.680
So take inventory of your life on what you feel is missing in your current connection to better understand what you need for connection or solitude.

00:26:14.079 --> 00:26:21.519
Like for me, all of my closest friends currently live out of state.

00:26:23.359 --> 00:26:38.160
But I have a heavy community, and I say community meaning the body of believers, my local community, the local, my local church that I'm a part of, I'm heavily involved there.

00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:45.680
I'm at my church at least three times a week for various various reasons because I'm a part of different different ministries.

00:26:45.759 --> 00:26:48.960
So I'm there three three times a week consistently.

00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:51.599
So I have heavy connections there.

00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:57.839
You may be a part of a community body, but you may go twice a month.

00:26:58.000 --> 00:27:01.839
You know, your circumstances may look completely different from mine.

00:27:02.079 --> 00:27:10.000
So you may need to look at the inventory of your connections and you may want to work on your connections.

00:27:10.240 --> 00:27:15.200
You may want to get more involved with your church body because you may feel solitude right now.

00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:18.160
You may be going through because I'm going through hardships.

00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:22.480
You may be going through hardships, but I'm locked in with my community.

00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:29.519
I don't feel lonely, I don't feel solitude because I've I've been intentional about my community.

00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:35.599
So you may be in a place where you want to, because this is what this is saying.

00:27:35.839 --> 00:27:37.519
Identify your need.

00:27:38.559 --> 00:27:49.599
So you, if you're in the same predicament that I'm in, you may not have a need for that connection because you may feel you already have that connection.

00:27:50.160 --> 00:27:55.440
You have that community, that community with your local body, your local church.

00:27:56.079 --> 00:28:01.279
But maybe you feel like you need connection far as friendship.

00:28:01.680 --> 00:28:05.039
Like I said, all of my closest friends live out of state.

00:28:05.200 --> 00:28:10.559
So that's something that I have been working on for as my community with my friendships here.

00:28:10.720 --> 00:28:13.680
I have been working on rebuilding new friendships here.

00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:16.160
So that's something that I've been working on.

00:28:16.400 --> 00:28:22.400
So maybe what I'm getting to, identify your need.

00:28:23.039 --> 00:28:35.119
If you feel like you are lacking in the local body, the local community, the local church, maybe you don't have, maybe you're not a part of a local church.

00:28:35.440 --> 00:28:37.359
Identify that as your need.

00:28:37.680 --> 00:28:41.599
Maybe you are a part of a local church, but you're not involved.

00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:53.359
Begin to get involved, whether that's going more regularly, joining a ministry, getting involved in Sunday school and Bible study.

00:28:53.599 --> 00:28:55.839
That's how you get more connected.

00:28:57.119 --> 00:29:01.759
Next, strengthen existing relationships.

00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:09.200
Focus on building deeper, more meaningful connections within your existing community.

00:29:10.400 --> 00:29:13.839
Okay, so like I said, this follows up on what I just said.

00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:22.960
Like if you're already a part of a community, work on building deeper, more meaningful connections.

00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:28.480
So maybe those connections aren't as close as you want them to be.

00:29:28.720 --> 00:29:30.880
Begin working on those relationships.

00:29:31.039 --> 00:29:34.400
How can these get more deeper and more meaningful?

00:29:34.960 --> 00:29:47.839
Let's say you're part of that local church, but you only go again, maybe twice a month, once a month, or even if you go every Sunday, but that's it.

00:29:47.920 --> 00:29:50.960
You only go every Sunday to worship service.

00:29:51.759 --> 00:29:54.720
Start going to Sunday school and Bible study.

00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:58.319
Begin to get to know the people that you go to church with.

00:29:58.480 --> 00:29:59.839
Don't rush out after.

00:30:00.160 --> 00:30:01.920
The worship service is over.

00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:05.759
Once they do the benediction, don't benediction, don't run out.

00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:11.759
Get to know the people that you are in community with because this is a benefit to you.

00:30:12.480 --> 00:30:15.599
This is a this is beneficial to us.

00:30:15.759 --> 00:30:17.440
We are doing life together.

00:30:17.599 --> 00:30:21.440
We are supposed to be in relationship with one another.

00:30:21.759 --> 00:30:26.079
Get to know the people you are in community with.

00:30:34.640 --> 00:30:35.920
Go deeper.

00:30:37.440 --> 00:30:43.279
I have a young lady that we get together once a month, whom I love.

00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:45.279
She reached out to me.

00:30:45.440 --> 00:30:49.440
We've been going over a year now.

00:30:49.839 --> 00:30:56.960
But she reached out to me basically for a mentor relationship, mentor-mentee relationship.

00:30:58.799 --> 00:31:00.720
But it's more than that now.

00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:03.839
But discipleship, it's basically discipleship.

00:31:04.240 --> 00:31:07.680
But we get together once a month and we have dinner together.

00:31:08.079 --> 00:31:12.480
We're in church together and we get together once a month.

00:31:12.559 --> 00:31:14.079
We do something different every month.

00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:16.319
Whatever that is, we just decide on what it is.

00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:23.279
We may do dinner, we may do some type of um activity, something, whatever it is we decide on.

00:31:23.519 --> 00:31:24.400
Whatever it is.

00:31:24.559 --> 00:31:27.039
But we've been doing it well over a year now.

00:31:27.279 --> 00:31:30.400
But this is how you build deeper connections.

00:31:30.559 --> 00:31:45.920
Not only do we go to church together, not only do we do Bible study together, Sunday school together, but we have once a month where we get together, set aside intentional time where we get together to build a relationship with one another.

00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:49.759
That's deeper, more meaningful connections.

00:31:50.640 --> 00:31:53.039
These are the people that you do life with.

00:31:53.519 --> 00:32:00.000
These are the people that you are in to encourage, to support, to hold accountable.

00:32:01.119 --> 00:32:07.680
These are the people that's going to be with you through your hard times, and you are to be there with them through theirs.

00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:10.400
This is what God has called us to.

00:32:10.559 --> 00:32:13.119
This is what the church is supposed to look like.

00:32:13.279 --> 00:32:14.880
This is community.

00:32:15.680 --> 00:32:18.880
But so many of us have gotten away from this.

00:32:20.400 --> 00:32:28.799
And we wonder why we feel lonely, why we feel isolated, because we don't do it God's way anymore.

00:32:29.359 --> 00:32:31.359
We've gotten away from that.

00:32:32.640 --> 00:32:36.799
Next, join or create communities.

00:32:37.200 --> 00:32:46.480
Actively seek out communities, whether online or in person, to find a sense of belonging and support.

00:32:56.319 --> 00:32:57.279
Join one.

00:32:58.319 --> 00:33:04.960
But if there's not one specific, specific for what you're looking for to join, create it.

00:33:06.240 --> 00:33:12.079
The Bible talks about if you want a friend, show yourself friendly.

00:33:13.759 --> 00:33:22.480
Sometimes if you can't find what you're looking for, you have to make it.

00:33:48.640 --> 00:33:54.480
But it is for people who are dating in relationship, engaged or married.

00:33:54.720 --> 00:34:07.119
So everybody who wants to be in a relationship, anyone who is looking to one day be married, who expired to be married.

00:34:08.559 --> 00:34:11.199
And it was a spin-off from the podcast.

00:34:11.360 --> 00:34:17.519
But I created that group because I have a heart for relationships, I have a heart for couples.

00:34:17.760 --> 00:34:28.719
And God did that in me out of my husband and I getting in a relationship, being together since high school, but getting married at such a young age.

00:34:29.199 --> 00:34:31.519
And there was I didn't have it.

00:34:31.599 --> 00:34:32.880
I didn't have anything.

00:34:33.119 --> 00:34:39.840
When we got married, there were not a lot of resources back then of how to do this thing called marriage.

00:34:40.079 --> 00:34:42.159
We were figuring it out.

00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:57.920
And I had a passion, like God, you helped me figure this thing out, but I also want to help other couples figure it out as well.

00:34:59.039 --> 00:35:11.039
I don't want to learn all this stuff that I've learned that you've shown me, that you've given me, that you've blessed me with along my journey, and not help other people.

00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:12.880
Like, how dare I?

00:35:13.280 --> 00:35:31.519
Like, how dare I experience your grace and your blessings along my marriage, along my journey, along parenting my kids, of how you turn my whole life around and not help other people do the same.

00:35:32.480 --> 00:35:34.719
How crazy would that be?

00:35:35.280 --> 00:35:38.880
Lastly, seek professional support.

00:35:39.280 --> 00:35:49.920
If you are struggling with persistent loneliness or feelings of isolation, seek help through therapy.

00:35:50.400 --> 00:35:53.760
Seeking help through therapy can be beneficial.

00:35:54.079 --> 00:36:00.719
And this one was last because I do understand there may be some things that you may need additional help with.

00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:08.880
If you're listening to this and you're really struggling with feelings of isolation or loneliness, you may need additional help.

00:36:09.039 --> 00:36:10.960
Because I'm an advocate for therapy.

00:36:11.679 --> 00:36:16.639
I myself, if you've been rocking and rolling with me for a while now, you know that I am in therapy.

00:36:16.800 --> 00:36:20.000
So there may there may be some additional help that you need.

00:36:20.079 --> 00:36:22.159
You may really need to talk to a professional.

00:36:22.320 --> 00:36:23.920
And I encourage you to do that.

00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:25.599
But if not, reach out.

00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:31.760
Like if you've been feeling lonely, feeling isolated, reach out to your community.

00:36:31.920 --> 00:36:41.599
And if you feel like you don't have a community, you feel like you don't, you're not a part of a local church, you don't feel like you have a lot of people.

00:36:41.760 --> 00:36:56.800
If you have one person in your life, just one person in your life that you trust, that you know that loves you, that you know supports you, that you know will be there for you, reach out.

00:36:57.280 --> 00:37:03.519
Let them know you're going through a hard time right now and you're struggling, and you need them.

00:37:04.559 --> 00:37:07.119
Don't be afraid to ask for help.

00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:09.920
We are not on an hour.

00:37:10.719 --> 00:37:12.880
We all need somebody.

00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:15.199
We all need somebody.

00:37:24.000 --> 00:37:28.480
So I hope today's episode has encouraged you.

00:37:28.719 --> 00:37:33.519
And if you know someone who needs this episode, please share this with them.

00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:35.119
Share this with them.

00:37:35.760 --> 00:37:41.679
Just a month ago, I needed to be reminded of this very episode myself.

00:37:41.920 --> 00:37:49.679
And I reached out to my community, to my local church community, and said that I needed help.

00:37:49.920 --> 00:37:51.199
And I needed prayer.

00:37:51.440 --> 00:37:53.280
And you know what they did for me?

00:37:53.599 --> 00:37:54.880
They prayed for me.

00:37:55.119 --> 00:37:56.639
And you know what God did?

00:37:56.960 --> 00:37:58.480
Answer that prayer.

00:37:58.960 --> 00:38:01.440
Because of prayers of my community.

00:38:01.840 --> 00:38:07.119
So reach out to your community.

00:38:08.159 --> 00:38:16.719
Don't try to face your suffering, your hardship, what you're going through by yourself.

00:38:20.559 --> 00:38:21.440
You don't.

00:38:22.239 --> 00:38:26.719
Remember, I love you, but God loves you so much more.

00:38:27.199 --> 00:38:29.440
I'll see you guys in two weeks.

00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:30.639
Bye.