Learning How to Create Healthy Boundaries with In-laws and Extended Family with Christ-Lynn Smith

How do we create healthy boundaries with our in-laws and extended family members? How can we have conversations with our partners about protecting our relationships and marriage without it turning into a power struggle, or worse yet, the very thing that is being avoided by creating these boundaries?

In-laws are a constant struggle for some. They don't always get along with our partners, or we don't agree on managing relationships with them. This can lead to conflict and tension in relationships and marriage. In order to maintain healthy boundaries, we need to have conversations with our partners about how in-laws should be handled not to cause a rift in the marriage.

In today’s episode, I invited the podcast host of “Black Marriage Therapy,” Christ-Lynn Smith, and we discussed how to create healthy boundaries with in-laws and extended family, having conversations with our partners to get on one accord about how to protect our relationship/ marriage. 

Tune in!

During this episode, you will learn about;

[00:28] Episode intro and a quick bio of the guest; Christ-Lynn Smith

[02:03] The one thing about Lynn that people don't know

[04:59] The journey behind Lynn's motivation to start a podcast

[07:56] How she and her husband created healthy boundaries with in-laws 

[11:32] What are relationship boundaries?

[14:30] Effects of lacking a model of a healthy boundary as they got into marriage

[18:53] The good and bad about getting married young

[21:52] What hinders us from making and setting boundaries

[28:41] Years of learning and growth before she got on the same page with her husband

[42:12] Understand empathy, judgment, and family dynamics in relationships

[44:48] When should couples have conversations about boundaries they want to put in place

[48:41] The need to re-adjust your boundaries in periods of transition as a couple

[52:52] What can you do if you never set boundaries in the beginning

[55:56] Green, yellow and red lights in marriages and relationships

[59:34] How to handle parents who still have access to your house

[01:02:18] Handling stepchildren in your family

[01:08:15] Moderating taking the blame on behalf of your partner

[01:15:55] How to reach out and connect with the guest

Notable Quotes 

• When you see someone go through an experience like yours, you empathize because you know how exactly it feels.
• In-law relationships are unique and complex in different relationships and people.
• Relationships change for the better when you are on the same page with your spouse or partner. 
• If you set the boundary and are consistent with it, your in-laws will fall in line because they love you and want to be part of your life.
• You set boundaries around things that you believe are valuable. Things that you want to protect and keep safe.
• We are afraid to set boundaries because of conflict, so we don't. However, we cause more conflict when we don't. 
• An In-law relationship can define your marriage.
• Understand your partner's family. Build your own relationship with them.

Let’s Connect 

Monique Simmons

Website: https://www.demowithmo.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/demowithmopodcast/

Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/demowithmo/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@demowithmo/

Christ-Lynn Smith 

Website: https://blackmarriagetherapy.wordpress.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmarriagetherapy/

Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/blackmarriagetherapy/

Linktr. ee: https://linktr.ee/blackmarriagetherapy

About The Show

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